Alright, due to time and technical constraints,

I will write this entry in English.

My comp just broke down, few days ago,

and i'm now using Bobo's (Kian Hong) lappie.

 

means? there will be lesser entries from now on.

(maybe, who knows? as charles's body will getting itchy when not posting blogs.)

 

Was out for a couple of days for this weeked,

mostly spending times with my relatives family, my aunts and her families.

As my cousin is going to start her tertiary study here, in a local university.

What i did for the weekend was something like acting as a tour guide? think so.

 

I'm going out again for a few days, start from tomorrow,

for my next trip, going south from my origin.

yea, Malacca the historical land and also Johore, the south gate of Malaysia.

 

I met a girl today, before i started my long and winding journey back home.

She looked 90% similar as "you", even her way of talking, gestures, and feels.

God-damn, she made me start to think bout "you" again and again. But, just who care, right?

Sometimes i'm asking myself, what the heck actually I'm doing?

spending most of the times for thinking and imaginations only, and acting romantic... ...

 

For the past few weeks, i'd been receiving news and updates from friends like,

A is breaking up with B, probably with the appearance of C.

D is getting together with E secretly, since years ago.

F is a nice boy firend, but the only problem of G cannot get along with his bad handling of hygiene problem.

H and I is breaking up, with a common idea of they should calm down for short period, and whatsoever.

 

maybe you would like to comment, "Gimme a break~!"

just, I would like to add, "Relationship nowadays are getting more and more complicated."

This is not a game that i used to played years ago, sad. =.=

 

Lastly, it's some sort of feeling that, hmmmmmmmmmm,

I'm not acting and doing what i used to do, or in short,

I'm not me for the time being, since the start of June.

 

(sorry bah! broken English masih mau blog guna English!)

甚麼是缺陷美?

人生中一定要有些遺憾, 才會更精采嗎?

 

我的遺憾, 或許是... ...

不能夠像玩角色扮演遊戲那樣, 可以儲存和載入吧.

在面臨很多的抉擇和分叉路前選擇 save,

然後不滿意的時候可以隨意地 load.

 

偷偷在向妳告白之前, 押下儲存.

然後在被妳拒絕之後, 載入之前的檔案.

 

人生中, 偶爾走錯了一步, 別人就會用過去式詞語來討論你.

present, continous tenses, or perhaps future tense? 通通都不對.

他們的言論, 將充滿 "如果" 和 past tense.

 

"如果當初, 他勇敢告白的話, 他和她或許已經在一起了."

如果嗎? 那麼多的如果... ... 真諷刺.

慾望, 誰最先駕馭這東西? 我和妳之間.

 

我常常習慣性地回憶和幻想,

無論是在失眠的夜晚, 忙碌的深夜,

一個人泡在麥當勞的凌晨, 或者是酒醉的早晨.

思考過了嗎? 是哪一個渾蛋天文學家.

思考過了嗎? 是哪一個笨蛋大科學家.

以訛傳訛地, 說天上的星星是漂亮的五角形物體,

讓小孩子們崇拜又嚮往.

 

 

你們都忘了, 小孩子有長大的一天.

他們會發現事實真相的一天, 他們會發現星星其實是些醜陋石頭的一天.

他們會開始學習接受事實的痛苦, 看清楚世界殘酷一面的一天.

 

大人們都錯了.

我忽然間, 不想長大... ...

無限的沉淪, 感覺離現實的地平線越來越遙遠.

總是提不起精神去說, 去做, 去實現, 去嘗試.

只管不斷地沉淪... ...

 

我想最近, 唯一提得起精神去幹的,

只有這一首歌, <HAPPINESS>.

花了心思去錄製, 一次OK.

 

第一次學習 <HAPPINESS>,

是2004年, 感觸很深很深的一年.

也因為2004年, 讓我在吉他造詣上跨了一大步.

敬請欣賞 <HAPPINESS>, 主旋律鋼琴與吉他配音的交錯.

 

 

"忽然, 很想有本記載關於妳的本子,

於是, 我開始寫了... ..."

- 28/12/2006 (四) 午 2.14pm

 

"剛剛佩珊用撲克牌幫我做戀愛占卜,

說我們之間還隔著一個女子.

... ... ... ...

... ... ... ...

不知道, 因為占卜不可以100%相信.

很想回家online 和妳分享, 但妳已offline了.

... ... ... ...

... ... ... ...

但是, 我認真想了想, 還是唯獨妳, 那麼特別,

我想我是認真的, 喜歡妳了."

- 07/02/2007 (三) 凌晨 12.58am

 

"倩依說, 應該是時候告白了,

與其接受將來說和其他人拍拖了, 自己傷心,

倒不如來個直接了當, 說個明白.

 

原本還有少許信心和決心,

但是一覺醒來, 所有決心都跑光光了."

- 17/02/2007 (六) 午 12.59pm

 

"慘了, 劇毒已攻心!

剛才拨了通不算長的電話給妳,

妳的聲音, 聽起來有少許不同,

是因為太久沒聽見了嗎? 還是... ..."

- 02/03/2007 (五) 凌晨 12.45am

 

"明天就要回KL 了, 很納悶.

不想回去, 因為這裡有妳."

- 04/03/2007 (日) 凌晨 12.26am

 

"剛才吃飽了晚餐, 肝臟很熱, 很痛,

要知道肝臟沒有神經線,

好像可大可小, 不知道咧.

但是, 在那個時候, 我卻實在想起了妳."

- 18/03/2007 (日) 凌晨 1.03am

 

"妳reply了.

'你以為我不知道你暗戀我呀?'

類似之類的sms, 我感到沾沾自喜,

不知道是好事還是壞事,

妳也在等一個答案嗎?"

- 23/03/2007 (五) 凌晨 2.39am

 

"今天終於和妳相遇了.

... ... ... ...

... ... ... ...

就好像小孩子隔天出游,

前一天晚上會睡不著覺, 我也是.

我很幼稚吧, 面對妳的時候."

- 07/03/2007 (六) 晚 11.52pm

 

"妳說妳睡不著, 於是我就sms,

then 鼓起了勇氣, 打電話給妳."

-07/05/2007 (一) 凌晨 3.20am

午夜1點鐘!

十二個小時後,

我要狠狠地吶喊個夠.

我要彈吉他彈到耳膜壞掉.

我要吃吃吃吃吃吃到肚皮撐破.

我要瘋狂地玩個痛快.

 

只因十二個小時之後,

我就成為一個無業游民!!

 

Microwave Technique & Radio Propagation (MTRP)

10am - 1pm 2nd June Monday KBU Multi Purpose Hall